hm.

it's 11:35 now.

not exactly a good time to start reflecting on what's happened this year.

but after reading LjS's blog, i decided that i should start reflecting too. after all, once the Post-CT mood ends i have no idea whether i'll still have time to blog. sighs. pretty reflective of this year heh?

hm. shall start off with a summary:

This year has been full of "firsts". I have no idea where I got so much courage to try out so many things I'd never thought of trying before. There were tiring times. There were times when I felt like quitting. There were times when I felt what I was doing was useless and I wondered whether I was better off going to sleep. There were times when I felt so bad that my heart completely just ached. But do I regret it? Not really. I only have one regret. But it's one big regret...

All right no more emo-ing. haha. (:

hmm just like in sec 3 and sec 4, i think what makes a year special is always the special events that happen during the year. It's always these things that you somehow remember. But of course, events isn't everything. Friends are another great part of my life. (:

hmm so this is what has made my 2009 so far so special!

1. Chingay
omg. haha. i must have been mad when i signed up in chingay as a motivator. >< hahaha. i remember the scene totally mannz. i went, realized i wasn't assigned and the guy asked me whether i want to be usher or motivator. i was thinking: i'm sure i motivator luh. but somehow, something in me told me to try something that i had never tried before. so i instinctively chose to be a motivator.

well, throughout the trainings, there were many times when i felt like i made a stupid choice. haha. i just totally didn't fit into the group. the entire group was filled with SUPER ENTHU people and although i wouldn't say that i'm not enthu at all, i just felt totally weird in the group. hahaha. so i remember dreading to go for chingay trainings. i didn't know anyone there! in the end, i tried to make friends and break into already-formed-and-bonded cliques but of course it wasn't really that nice.

but well, i enjoyed myself during chingay. i'm just proud that i challenged myself. although i may not have enjoyed chingay as much as i would have liked, the people were still rather interesting. i still remember amanda, tom, kenneth and vimilyn in my group. and of course jie liang (not 4B haha) and friends from HCI. it's not the kind of friendship which will last. but at least i learnt how to network and hmm some cheerleading skills that proved useful for council later on (:

i won't regret joining chingay because i challenged myself...

2. Interact Reject turned Councillor
OKAY the epic incident zomg.

I arrive late for interview...
Me (during interview): Hmm. I did a social documentary. (turns to rj guy) You did it too right?
RJ Guy: (stunned look)
Me (without thinking): WAH! you never do your homework ah!

The comments: Late/Rude.

Everyone whom I told this story to later on just laughed at how dumb i was. haha but as charlotte said, it may be a blessing in disguise because if I got into interact, I wouldn't go for council. (:

And although council isn't exactly my cup of tea, I will never regret joining council because if anything, it has already taught me one thing: how to be nice. (:

I have no idea why. but so far, the most important thing in council to me has been my brilliant buddy, Joelynn! (:

Somehow, she just inspired me to be nice hahaha. Nowadays, before I do something, I always think of whether others would be happy from what I did. I guess Joelynn somehow influenced me into doing this. Not that she explicitly said it or something. But hmm I guess she's just the very very very very nice kind of person.

Jerald said that we were the same type of person. Well, I'm not sure whether we're alike but I definitely want to be more like her haha. I wonder how a person can be so nice (:

and of course, i love my houseD. i really dunno how much we will do at the end of the day. but getting to know such a nice group of people is great. somehow, i feel more at ease in my houseD. (: must be the calming influence of si xuan? ahhaha. nat day hasn't been much but stuff will start coming in i guess. just hope that H1N1 doesn't ruin our efforts.

but whatever the case...

i won't regret joining council because i have become a nicer person from it...

3. RJCO!
RJCO has been a great decision for me. I guess if I joined band I just wouldn't fit in. Not sure why but I feel most at ease when im in CO. somehow, i just manage to talk better and smile more (: haha influence of kweky this time? haha. i really have no idea why mann. but throughout the entire year, i've loved RJCO. the events weren't exactly as great as they came in RICO. no great SYF, no great concert. but i guess at the end of the day it's always the friends that you make in your CCA that matters and in CO i've made some great friends (:

Kweky, Victor, Liyuan, Yong Sheng, Linghui! WOOHOO! XD

i won't regret joining CO because of the great friends I made in it...

4. YAH
Joining YAH has been a great decision. If there's only one thing that I can take away from YAH, it'd be the way that James works.

I admire James for what he does because he puts in his best efforts in whatever he does. And more importantly, he respects everyone and his honesty and smile always comes through everytime I see him. He isn't exactly good in everything esp. when it comes to tech stuff but he doesn't mind being laughed at. He takes it in his stride and because of his great character and smile (which I MUST LEARN), his friends will always help him out. In fact, whenever I don't go for a YAH meeting, i feel guilty cuz of James haha.

But most importantly, James believes in us. I think YAH has come a long way since the beginning of the year and much credit goes to James. He's the main driving force behind this group. He believes in all of us and gives us the space to work and come up with our own ideas and plans. When I get to work next time, James will be one of the role models whom I'll try to emulate. (: Hopefully, I'll be able to do so!

But of course, YAH isn't just about James. haha. it's about all the people as well. the exco, the advocates. I'll do another post individually about YAH when my term comes to an end. but if there is one thing that i regret about YAH, it will be that i didn't do enough. but definitely...

i won't regret joining YAH because of the great role models whom i can emulate now and in the future...

5. SHINE (:
Joining SHINE was also a great decision. Actually, not just SHINE. but more specifically, SHINE PUBS TEAM! WOOHOO!

haha i have to thank aiwei and benjamin for being great people in leading the team. they were totally great and without them we wouldn't have come through everything. but of course, everyone's work was important! SK was especially great with his advertising knowledge but the great thing was that everyone put in a lot of hard work to make things come true. I'd never imagine such a huge youth festival in Singapore. I'd never imagine being able to play a part in such a great festival and even giving an idea for the dance which came true! (:

I thank SHINE PUBS because they make things come true. They make me believe in what I do and make me feel that what I am doing is taken into account. They ensure that everyone's opinions are heard.

and of course, the people in SHINE are super nice. esp. jackson hahahha. dunno why he so nice. another inspiration for me to be nicer yay (:

I won't regret joining SHINE because they give meaning to what I do.

6. MPS
All right MPS! haha. haven't been going since May. but i've gone for 10 times. sufficient to know that MPS is a great place to learn loads of stuff if you have the time hahaha. too bad it's tuesday 730pm. i guess i just can't sustain burning my tuesday evenings every week until i find more time...

the people there are also very nice hahaha. esp. benjamin (: zomg. hahahaha. so sad that i didn't bid farewell to him. in fact my absence came really suddenly when CO started to kick in. sigh. shall go back one day to see them again (: hope i dont get killed for not going haha.

but what i really found meaningful about MPS was that I got to see how very lucky i was to have such a great family. i rarely listen to their stories. in fact, i think i've only done that 5 times? but when you sit at the registration table or usher them, you can see their face. more often than not, they have a smile on their face. they thank you for what you do. but deep down, you know that they are worrying. That to me was something powerful.

i won't regret joining MPS because i got a sneak peak into people's lives.

7. WLC
WLC was another great event haha. although the planning didn't go smoothly and there were several hiccups during the actual event, we still managed to pull through. the most amazing thing about it was how youths nearly single-handedly (okay maybe the ECO interns too!) organized such a large event.

When I first heard about WLC, i was totally in disbelief. I mean, in sec 2, going for beach cleanup already felt impossible. in sec 3, going to taiwan and changchun made me think there couldn't be any CIP that would ever be tougher than those.

Well, it seems like when you believe in what you do, the sky has no boundaries. What seemed impossible became reality in WLC and that was amazing. And to add to that, I could do it with all my great friends from 4B!

i won't regret joining WLC because it made me believe that nothing is impossible...

8. Others
and of course there were many other smaller events which made up the year. Race to Health certainly taught me lots as well regarding planning stuff and executing events. Signing up for the many scholarships and OSAP also gave me much exposure although I didn't succeed in getting any of them. Planning for Raffles Perc was also great because even though it didn't work out in the end, at least it gave us reason to meet up and have fun (: Orientation too was fun and together with Council IRT, I learnt that I should be more proactive in networking! ahhh. got lots to learn there. Participating in music feste was another fun activity!

9. Things to come!
Much more stuff will be coming my way from SHINE, YAH, council and CrimeZero. but for now, i can say that i don't regret whatever that i've done.

at least not now.

and i certainly hope i won't regret it in the future (:

Patrick