inspired.

Dear all,

Some of you might be hearing this for the first time - others have known since July. I thought I'd just clear this up once and for all, so that you all don't get all confused and deflated later on.

After so many months of work, the long anticipated concert is about to come to fruition. This is on all accounts our last expression of gratitude to a lost teacher. I am sure all of us appreciate this primary goal fully - let's make this a success for him. This final week of rushed preparations and practices... I haven't seen us work this hard for quite some time.

This much we have achieved. Currently, our efforts seem to have paid off somewhat - latest report from Yee Siang indicates 62% of evening tickets sold - this is a mere 8% away from our goal of 70%! Of course for matinee it's a much more modest 17% - but if we all just ask every single person we know, right now... this should go up by at least 10%. Sponsorship is finally looking positive - a list of potential sponsors has been generated, and people are calling all sorts of companies up. Newspapers and radio stations have been contacted for additional publicity. The concert booklet is about to be final drafted and printed. Logistical arrangements are being settled as we speak. And there's self practice tomorrow, which you must attend, of course. And dazu on saturday, and monday, and tuesday, and wednesday.

We are not a dead orchestra.

And for all that I'd like to thank every single one of you - however small or large a role you have played. Your efforts will not be wasted. You have contributed in all your different ways, and I am extremely thankful for all that. However the school perceives us - we know that we have something good going here. It's this kind of spirit that makes great orchestras. Don't let it die.

And yet, through this all, there have been countless difficulties, as there are always. The concert committee and exco haven't been as smooth-running, efficient, meticulous, detailed, prepared, nor effective as we would have hoped to be. There have been disappointments, conflicts, misunderstandings, complaints.. . every step of the way. Sometimes it seemed as if everything was against us having this concert. Then we recall who we're doing this for, and who we're doing this with. Mr Yeo and RICO. And all that strength and vigour comes back. As discouraged and disillusioned as you may have become with us all, we assure you that we have learnt from every experience thrown at us, and to the best of our abilities corrected the errors that we have inadvertently committed. For all the mistakes that we have made, we cannot blame anyone but ourselves. And we hope that you'll understand how foreign organising a concert is to us, as it is to you. We know our mistakes may have inconvenienced you greatly. We will hold this concert as a more mature and wiser exco and orchestra.

So here it is. I'm leaving tomorrow (the 5th) for New Zealand, and I won't be back until the 19th. I'm missing the concert. As I said, some of you have known this since July. For the rest of you, this might make you jump in your seats and go into shock or loss. Let me assure you that all relevant parties - the teachers, the instructors, the conductor, my section, the exco - have been duly informed, and have already taken steps to ensure that my absence means nothing. I haven't told all of you this - and I know it'll definitely not be any form of boost to your morale.

And at this point I'd like to take a paragraph of this super protracted letter to elaborate. I'll be frank - I cannot begin to describe how guilty I feel. Yes, I've thought through this whole thing over and over again, and I'm full of regret, though I didn't really have a choice. I didn't really choose to leave. Call it what you like - leaving, abandoning, departing, disappearing, ponning, slacking, retiring, shirking, gone... I'll say this once and for all. I have never felt good that I'm leaving. I'll try to have a good holiday, but I don't think the first 10 days will be nice at all. It'll be full of worrying.

And I'm sad.

And for all that I'd like to offer all of you my sincerest apologies.

Whether you guys see it or not - we may seem not to care, but we really really do. This orchestra is (for lack of a better word) owned by every single one of us. We cannot escape that. This orchestra is ours. We are responsible. We sow the seeds, toil endlessly, and reap the benefits.

We are RICO.

In my prolonged absence, the exco (with the exception of Chun Yin until the 11th) will continue to function, as will all SLs and concert committees. I have taken pains to ensure that everything runs as per normal without myself, and I believe I'm leaving the helm of this orchestra to a very dedicated and capable set of leaders. With effect from tomorrow evening, Jeremy is interim chairman, and from the 11th, Chun Yin will take over. Once again I'd like to emphasize that I have full confidence in both of them, and I hope that you will give them your cooperation and faith, as you have by and large given me.

Lastly... I'll be there on the 14th in a different way. Somehow. You'll see. :P

Best of luck for the concert, and see you all soon. I'll miss you all, and I eagerly await news of the concert.

For the last time in a seemingly long time, thank you. Thank you all.


Yours always,
Ren Yan